...Ripples on My Conscience...

Riding on the split tongue of a serpent,
I see you shrinking back in fear,

Now, I can see through the thickness of your skin,
blunt is your vision, still

Not a stranger are you to me,
I was you, before i was "Now"

beware of these ropes that move around you,
once they were threads that you wove, sitting in your closet

You think, the ladder takes you higher
but, Nether lies the rope tied to the key

Key to escape this sand clock,
grains of sand, are all your thoughts.

Now, I see you coming miles ahead
a Surprise, you can never be.

fuel is all i am, burning through this incessant metamorphosis
No wonder, you can never touch me.

'My'stake

Is life to be blamed if it turned out to be meaningless ?
The fault is his who tries to attach a meaning to it.
Oh.. you self asserted "superior" creature, what good
was the reasoning that you claim makes you human.
"Human" a word that you take pride in stressing,
Human i am all too human, you say when you fail.
Human, and hence i am meant to be superior,
echoes your ego in victory.
The world that you see through the mask that you wear
is yours and only yours.
You might be able to see the world through it,
a part of it you can never be, till you tear it off and become
one with the unity, which is all that exists.

Life of a Gooner..!

Here's just what my obsession with a soccer team led me to..

http://www.reallifenews.com/

Hope you find some sense in'santiy

..Thorn With In..

Acceptance, that's a nice word
The scar tissue doenst feel the pain does it..?
It's the first cut that hurts you the most.
Wide open are your eyes,
As you lie awake in the sands of time.
Nothing really touches you,
yet you swirl around in the whirlpool of thoughts.
Acceptance, that's a myth.
You wish you could stop it from weaving,
If not for just a moment,
The spider inside your head.
dies in the womb,
The scream the was born deep with in you.
Acceptance, it's what you become.

The One...!

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Sentimental Education

"I wanted to paint the picture of the men of my era", says Gustave Flaubert in
a letter to his friend when he was contemplating "Sentimental Education".
From a man who was disgusted with the vanity of life at a very young age,
these words could have only come out of a noble and enlightened
state of mind.
Picture is an understatement, what he painted was a master piece. Every word
brings thousand pictures to your head, contrasting and challenging all the art forms.I wouldn't be exaggerating if i said, he elevated the art of writing to a level
beyond it was ever envisioned.

The book is no less than an epic in length, and yet every single word stands out as though it was invented to be there, to serve its purpose. With a nice translation from french by "Walter Kaufmann", this semi-auto biographical story is considered to be one of the bibles of literature.

Having read Madame Bovary, i did expect the succinct style, witty and satiric characterizations. But, what makes it a work of art is the depths of madness and the level of detail that was put in to it. The plot is told from a third person's p.o.v, Frederick the main character of his story becomes Flaubert's paint brush,
painting the picture of France during the revolution ---
the humor he draws out of the inebriated life styles of the rich, the mind set of the socialistic revolutionaries, the smell of perfume from the brothels of Paris, the yearnings of a cowardly protagonist for a married woman, the recurrent love affair with a friends wife --- become some of his collections.

Every character introduced in the first dozen pages of the book, stays with you till the end, serving its purpose. The purpose of filling color in to this master piece, with a realistic touch that can rarely be achieved, even if you know them in your personal life. What makes it a master piece above all ?
Let me quote the mastero himself in a letter to his close friend bouilhet,

' I am slaving away at the revolution of '48,' he told bouilhet in 1867,
'Do you know how many books i have read and annotated in the last six weeks ? Twenty-seven, old fellow, and inspite of that i managed to write ten pages.'

Indeed, the level of detail that goes in to every scene and character description is something you would find unique, Such an effort can only make this long abused art noble. One of the books after bovary, that made me want to never finish it and i kept coming back to it in short intervals just to get those out of body experiences.

If i may asQ !

what does a man, who's exhausted all possible sources of entertainment by indulging excessively, till he got sick of each one of them, do ?

...Run Rabbit.. Run..!!

Here is a story that you might have heard as a kid
of a dilettanti rabbit and a scrupulous tortoise.
from where i see now, it looks like this.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thus says he to himself the one who can't walk

I was born a rabbit,
Run and leap is all i can.
Crawl past you reptiles,
carry the burden of your sins.
self righteous, is not my name.
i've beaten you once, i'll beat you twice.
I can't walk like you do, i cant wait till the noon.
Yes, i need the rest
i need the sleep,
i need the shade of this apple tree.

Saying this, he goes to sleep and thus he dreams.
An apple tree with broken wings,
says to him in a plaintful tone.

Hey you..! the one who thinks he has come too soon,
you and i are no different poles.
i too grew too fast much alike your haste to cross.
breaking the womb, that carried me below this land.

i saw the seasons come and go, all in a day
all in a day, i realized sooner than my brothers
who still lay in ground in their twisted webs.
less i care, if you win or loose.
but, let me tell you what i saw, all in a day.

Life, this is no bed time story
i won't rhyme till you sleep.
Naked, i've seen you walk-in to this casino
naked, i saw you gamble and shuffle your cards,
naked, i saw you when you wore that costly suite
naked, i still see you running around.
but you forgot to recite the unsaid words that i told you every time.
"House only Wins..!!"
"House only Wins..!!"

Doesn't exist that line you want to cross,
round and round you go in this circular path
There was no start, nor will this end.
Never will it come the line you want to cross,
Never did my seasons end.

I've seen you come this path,Not once, but a countless times.
I've told you these very same words all the while,
but you ran every single time.
Open were your eyes, when you ran
but, never once did you wake up from this recurrent dream.
Ripe are my apples and withered are my wings,
My doors are open and so will be yours one day.
so,I say you this, the very last time,
stop your run and sleep under my shade,
for the very last time.

a slight drizzle from the dew drops on the tree wakes the rabbit up,
he opens his eyes and sees that the tortoise has crawled past him.
And just when it was about to run
on his head,falls a ripen apple from the tree.
For the very first time rabbit wakes up from his recurrent dream.
The words of the tree, ring in his head like the gong that
brings a deafening silence.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
There i said it, the story i have seen so far,
i know i've heard it once, so did u..
i seem to have forgotten the rest
Someone tell me how this story ends ??
btw, what are you a rabbit or a tortoise ? and what's your dream ..!

...Easy Rider...!

all_too_human:
Shiet...Man..! what did you say ?
All are equal in the eyes of the almighty ??
look @ me.. look at my fragile body..
look @ my awful face..! my pale skin...
my miserable birth...
what was he ? drunk ! your almighty, when he
created me ?
How do you expect me to believe that we are all equal..
Life is inherently unfair...!

holier_than_thou:
Son..! calm down... your fury is your enemy
the house of the lord is open for all.
God has a plan for each one of us...
the present is a culmination of your past,
don't blame the lord for your past deeds in your bygone lives.
Ask him for forgiveness, surrender your soul to him who is superior.
And pray that he opens the doors of heavens up above and
may you become a part of him.

all_too_human:
Shut the F%&^ Up... if i hear that crap one more time
i am gonna split your tongue in to two and feed it to you..

holier_than_thou:
(closes his ears and starts chanting his lords name in fear)

the_easy_rider:
(after having to listen to the cries from inside...
parks his harley davidson @ the handy capped space before the chapel
enters the chapel with his cowboy hat and jeans on a hip length jipper classic black leather jacket)

what are you shouting @?? the priest is deaf and so is your god,
if at all he was there, you have deafened him,
with all your cries for help, with your pleas for forgiveness.
yes,Life is fucking unfair...! how long did it take you get this... ??
how many times have fallen off its back ?

who says life's got to be fair.. ?? u want fair ?

then go ride an ass, let it carry you to your grave and there
you will lie for eternity in the fair grounds of the lord.
You get a hole six feet deep, so does your role model.

or.

you can, get up wipe that dust of your ass and spring on
the saddle of yours, take a tight rope and run it through the
nostrils of your life. Grab it by the muzzle and own it.
Don't let the television tell you what you're supposed to be or not to be.
when...life seems unfair TRY.. try a little bit harder.. what have
you got to loose.. ? your almighty's forgiveness ?

(Hands him a pipe.. filled with pot and winks )

..The Apollinian Dionysian..

..The Duality..

Reflections in to the "making of the "creator" ", the one who trascends himself, have lifted the veil on the apparent duality.
What makes a civilization great ? is it not the very few individuals that elevate themselves not only over the masses but also beyond themselves, that lead to all the greatness that we have ever witnessed.

So,
..The Questions..

Is it the Individual then ? that is the "meaning of life"..
but one may ask...
what gives an individual such a penchant to trascend his
limits...? Is it not the surroundings, the unversal whole ?
A staunch believer in "re-incarnations" may ask
Don't you think "karma" of that individual in a previous life
gets carried over and makes him superior by very birth ?

I you believe in re-incarnations, a notion that one can make you
believe in showing you instances of individuals born with special talents,then feel free to break this chain of thoughts, and relax in the self righteousness of your conscious. Stop asking, stop Questioning..!!
If not, help me weave this ..
what nurtures such an individual ?
Who starts the fire, in which he burns himself to subliminal excellence and spreads his vapourous in which we rejoice his creation.. ?


..The Genious..
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)

One of the first philisophers, to ever walk this chain of thought and give the world an alien thought.
He shows how the consonance of these opposites leads to excellence,

"If there is to be art, if there is to be aesthetic doing and seeing, one physiological condition is indispensable:frenzy. Frenzy, must first have enhanced the excitability of the whole machine;"
(from the "Twilight of Idols")

The Apollinian ( like apollo ) believes in individuality, he isolates himself from the world, the walls around him give him the much desired silence and the deep sea, in which he dives head-in. He emerges out with his pearls, his creations that immortalize his efforts.
The sculptor, the painter, the poet are few apollinian's we find
if we project this concept in to art.

On the other end of this tunnel of duality, we find the Dionysian( like Dionysius )who's whole body is receptive to change as a whole, he thrives to be a part of the entirety around him. His urge to unite with the whole, makes him perceptive to the changes around him. He lays trasparent, and as a mould of clay to be transformed in to any form that will help him unite with the whole.
The actor, the dancer, the magician, the chameleons' ( Con Men )
fall in this category.

It's neither of these that give you the frenzy that you seek, but its their unity that "create". The excellence of the indiviual lays obscured and ungarnished, with out the shallowness of the Dionysian. No pearl can shine with out the darkness around it,

It's not the light, but the darkness around the moon, that gives it it's beauty.

The concept of a balance of the individual against the whole is a universal one, being found in all walks of life from art to politics. It is for this reason that Nietzsche's description is so adept at illustrating that Attic tragedy
( from his The Birth of Tragedy ) is indeed the highest form of art; one can relate to the constant conflict and balance between the individual and the whole.

.....Moments....!

These tiny particles in the sands of time..
these moments that make up the days,
the months and years, the very threads
of the canvas that you have woven around you
all through your life.
Painting the world around you, just the way you thought it
was supposed to be . This game you were never good at it,
not atleast as good as you wanted to be.
The greasy oil stains, the unpleasant moments you want to erase so desperately
from your memories, yet the stains remain.

The short moments of realization, when you come out of the frame
and look at the picture that you have painted all your life.
These moments that you chose to grasp in words,fade away.
These which show you things for what they are, they never last.
They leave you,
you as a branch,
struck by the thruth of ligthening, the lightening some refer to as
"Nirvana", was always with you, may be not as a state of mind, but as a breif allusion from the
eternal illusion around you.

This moment, how you wish you could hold it, freeeze it and own it. You, just wish too much, dear.

you're gone aren't you ?
oh...my moment of truth..!!
it'll be long before i'll get a glimpse of you.
before you come along the next time, you will find me
working diligently on my canvas,
giving it more colour, more people, more worthless experiences.
Next time i pass to see you, be sure to come harsh on me.
Strike me, with all your fury,may i cease my ground on this woven frame of my memories.

oh..my moment of light..!!
you don't depress me.
I await you, not knowing this abet the long hiatus.
As i drown myself in the recurrence, i await you.

Drawn in or Drawn Apart ??

Sometimes it never occurs to you.. that you've been transformed in to a
whole different person, not until someone shows you your reflection
in your views, your thoughts, your apprehensions and your whole
behavioural patterns. This change, to you, happened so very naturally, just like the beard growing right beneath your chin.. which you never feel so is your psyche
which is changing this very instant.

Sometimes makes me wonder, should i take a personality test everyday ?
Before i do that, is there such an ideal test that can show me for what i am ?
Sadly, the existance of such a test is as mythical as the very idea of knowing
oneself completely.The zillions of variables that give a shape to the
consciousness that we experience, can hardly be evaluated to determine
our personality. I've taken a few personality tests which classify human beings in
to a finite set of personality traits, as it goes with every PT, you are initially
asked a set of questions and based on what you scored on them you will be given a
combination of traits that which will determine the results of the test.

The most common trick that the authors of such tests play is that
when you go ahead and read your personality, no matter what score you
have got in the test, you will find some encouraging inferences about your
personality, most of the inferences immaterial of whether they are true,
are definitely cheesy. Though, you sometimes know that what is said
about you doesnt really portray you, the fact that something good is being
said about you, subconsciously makes you adapt and accept to that, and
when such an acceptance is subconscious you never realize that you
are being tricked, but do feel that what is being said completely relates to you.

They choose to be euphonic when it comes to putting down your turn-offs,
for instance,
saying that you are a team player, and are adaptable to pressurizing situations,
instead of mentioning that you lack a leadership quality, wouldnt hurt you
as much as listening to the truth in a more harsh way, which basically is that
"you suck at leadership..!"

My point is, no matter what bin the personality test puts you in, you accept to
fit in only when you are okay with it subconsciously, so is your concept of
having a personality in the first place.
If someone comes up to you and says right to your face that you lack a
personality, or character. These words(personality/character)which
you took pride in saying all the while, when are rendered meaningless
will sure hurt your feelings.But, if you really know how complex a
mechanism you are, to be labelled as something or to possess the notion of
being a person of certain character, will sure become a farce.

So, don't sterotype yourself, to some idea of this self that you've been
repeating to yourself every instance, for a change try to think of yourself
as water, water that takes the shape of the container it flows in to.
Be Formless.. my friend.. Be the Water.. !!

....consciously.... sub-conscious...the riddle...!

I was just reading "The collected short stories" of D.H Lawrence,
an author, i very much enjoyed reading. But today it was different,
as i was reading through a story titled "The white stocking", i could
see my mind enjoying the words, the drama, the romance but
i also felt something thats beyond my mind and yet as completely
a part of me, was silently taking notes of the structure, composition,
scene creation, with such a fervent intensity of which i could just
catch intermittent glimpses.

While my mind was busy relating me to the story, casting me in one
of it's characters, bringing me back the incidents in my life so far
that can be fit in to the plot, the people in my life that were close to the
descriptions of some of the characters.My subconscious might have
been busy with it's purpose to correlate, to make me learn the art of
writing. This i infer as a result of the self-hypnotic suggestions or the
involuntary suggestions that i've have been feeding my subconscious
with the desire of becoming a writer.

This is not the first time i could sense my subconscious in action,
there have been incidents in my life, where my abilities to perform
certain tasks surprised me and surely gave me a peek in to the
endless power of the subconscious. Though, this is the first time
i thought i'll put the experience in words.

This may sound a little counter intuitive, if the word sub conscious
is to be taken literally, as you might feel that i am still conscious,
so how could you sense the sub-conscious ??
but my feeling is that the level of my consciousness surely varies
depending on how deeply i am involved in a particular task.
For instance, my liking to these short stories and of course the
mastery of Lawrence sure might have elevated my state of consciousness.

This might just be a premise, but which theory doesn't start with one ??.
In any case, it was an experience that i thought i have to reflect back
later.. repeatedly, until i can find a pattern to solve this riddle or just analyze it for what it is...!!!

............How can i.......... ?

How can i help you my friend,
For i am sick...!!
How can i show you the light,
when i am in the dark..!!
How can i share your burden,
when i am it...!!
How can i be my"self"
when i am the null.
How...?

Here is to the filthiness, that fills me

Here is to the myth, that i have become

Here is to the soul, that's mourning

Here is to you my friend, that hates me.

cheers...!!

You have to be perfection, when you are the flaw.

You have to be a fucking saint, to find love, and it's love thats unsavory to your soul.

You have to be don't you ?

You're love is madness, and so is your guilt.

You live a miserly life, life is what you don't indulge in.

Those words that you say, you never mean them.

Those plans that you make, "you" never know why ?

I am enlightened, i know the meaning of life,

it's meaningless...

what next ?

and

why does there have to be a next ?

.....The Islander...........

It's been a while since he wrote something,
the urge to express himself was subdued by
his self-imposed hiatus from his quest inwards.
when he moved away from the loneliness,
was it his rationality that fooled him
yet again, making him skeptical to his complacent self.

The rational self was back, like the sounds of an arriving ship
in the ears of a lost islander.
It brought with it, not just the mirage of a life
that seemed to have more to offer
but also the clamorous streets, the daily menial
tasks to make a living,
the vivid glimpses of pleasure, the thoughts
like the drifting winds.
There he was, yet again on the boat, back to the glittering streets,
leaving behind the island that was nothing less than a paradise.
A paradise that evaporated with the winds that brought with them
the first sight of the sails.
Unaware, was he.Unaware of the land that he was leaving behind.
Those nights of clear skies, that cleared the clouds of doubt
from his relentless mind.
Those sands of time that he conquered.
The echoes of the island
and all the things that kept him company in the loneliness, never
reached him amid the raucous of the sea-men.
"Happy", he seemed to be..dining dancing and singing songs with the
sailors, filling the immaculate voids in his soul with the drivel of gossips.

Hope, Hope seemed to give him warmth when he doubted the
cold vanity of his actions.
But, little did he know that the storm awaited him tomorrow.
Tomorrow, he will be again ship wrecked, in the cold water.
Then comes the desire, desire to seek loneliness. He will swim,
swim till he collapsed, back to his island. His island, that gave him
solace, the only place where he can rest mind and body.
Will he make it ?
If he did, will he leave it for another ship ?
knowing that, this too will wreck, knowing that there is no ship
that can take him to the place that never existed.
The islander, they called him.

.....Who the F%&$ is "Valentine"....??

WARNING:
If you had a nice valentines day and are on cloud-nine
What you are about to read "might" disinterest you.. It might make you think i am a sickened soul, who's ranting for he couldn't be happy like the rest of you.. with actual lives....on this auspicious day...
but for the record..
i do have what you might call an "interesting life" and do
want to express my love..

This might be one of the millions of rants that go out
on this day, but its not coming from a heart-broken/unloving
man...
And i don't want to bore you with the stories behind celebrating
the Vday.. cause i know...most of you have the History Channel..
Before i get to the crux of my bull s^*& lemme just state some figures


"The Greeting Card Association estimates that, world-wide, approximately one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas."
Let's call my alter-ego Mr.Brightside "B"

B:what's wrong with that ???
Me:well it could as well be a country's economy

B:So what ass h&*$? Are you saying i should become
this vegitable with no emotions and escapes
from this monotonous life and have a fun time with my gal/guy..!

Me:
is there an escape from the eternal recurrence of this life ?
The sad news is there is no escape... or even if there is one.. it's
definitely not in buying gifts or sending greeting cards.

B:
Alright...! i had enough of this you liberal F&^*, so your saying
i stop celebrating and start saving money so that i could donate
to some dying kid in an african country... i don't buy it..!

Me:
Well, don't buy it.. Cause that's not what i am selling
I am as selfish as you are when it comes to satysfying my needs
be what you want to be.. and have fun with your
mate..
Show off your valentine hearts.. to people who think they are
not worthy enough to have one.. gratify your ego with the
sense of superiority that you attain by blowing the horn..

Take her out for a romantic candle light dinner, just like they
show it in the movies.. say the right words.. make her feel at home
and then.. slowly take out that "bright" but not so expensive ring that
you got.. for a cheap deal @ the holiday season sale....
make her feel like she's the only angel on the planet that
you have laid your immaculate eyes....
Yes, she will be impressed.. impressed by your taste.. may be not so
much by the number of calcualtions you made before you planned
the romantic night..
That's alright she will never know..
Yes, thats my only point..
She will never know.. not until you exchange rings
and spend months F&*king like two jack-rabbits,
not untill the day you woke up and see the woman
sleeping right next to you and start wondering.. what the
hell happened.. !

All you'll be left with is the spilt milk..
it's too late isn't it..
what went wrong..
who is to blame
Is the Saint F&*)* Valentine ??
Or Is it the Capitalists.. who made this so called fest
such a big deal ?
or is it the society that urges you to act like the rest.. ?

The last and the Question that you should be asking first..
Is it Me ???

If..Not for the kids in somalia..
If..Not for the economy...
ask this Question
Atleast.. For yourself.. you selfish peace of S&(*

for, these norms that say that you have to exchange
your sensual fealings of love for someone.. on this
particular day, will might as well put your rationality
(which again is wicked ) to rest and urge you in to a
relationship...that you'll end up regretting for ever...


So B "Happy Valentines Day"

They say i am...

You scored as Existentialism. Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism: You choose the meaning and purpose of your life. �Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.� �It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.� --Jean-Paul Sartre �It is man's natural sickness to believe that he possesses the Truth.� --Blaise Pascal More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page... Existentialism 100% Nihilism 70% Justice (Fairness) 45% Kantianism 35% Strong Egoism 25% Hedonism 20% Utilitarianism 15% Apathy 10% Divine Command 0% What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03) created with QuizFarm.com

My Requiem...List...!

Return to innocence

Like it or not....! i am here.. feeling every emotion
yet again without any presumptions like an infant.. with a
blissful ignorance seeing the world like i have once seen with these
very eyes..... but didn't have a developed cerebrum to perceive the
beauty of this entirety that which i am a integral part of.

I want to see the sunrise and wonder what it is.. that
glowing bowl of fire.. should make me thwart in pleasure
with its resonating energy.

I want to lie naked on the shore.. feeling one with the ocean's
farthest depths,

When the sand in my crotch pricks me, i want to smile like a kid
who was tickled for the first time... that immense power of experiencing
an emotion for the first time.. i want to get lost in that pleasure...

The music that reaches to my ears for the first time.. i want to
know what it aroused in me.....and explore the sensations that lay buried in my subliminal fathoms.

The thirst.. i felt for the first time i want to prolong it.. till the
pain inside me urges to Quench my thirst with water, which is
just a part of me as the wind and the waves....

Take me to that paradise.... which i was born in to.. but was
unaware.. all the while... let me burn just as a moth in this eternal fire...

....What's Your No Again ....?

Numbers, Numbers they are every where it's true,
what ever form it may be, your SSN , your cedit account,
your age, your DOB, your telephone...
If you think about it, each of these multi-dimensional phases
that you are being projected as a different number,
what's you're answer when some one asks you...
who you are.. and what's your size ?
It's 11 digits when you're over a mobile,
It's a 12 digit code when you're shopping
It's 2 digits, when you're alive...

Imagine, what would a busy street look like, when you
think of a throng of people as just mere numbers
floating around.
Your mere identity is chronicled as a
number, but unlike your body this number will be
reassigned to a different soul.. once you are dead..
Every communication you make over the internet or a
telephone, as you know is just a sequence of 1's and 0's..
these words that i am typing, those smiley's that you send
from a chat window...
Gone are the days, when art was a replication of the inner
perfection of an artist, it's now just a mere magic with numbers,
If you could predict the patterns of these numbers.. @NYSE
you could be a billionaire over night..

what happens to a SSN once a person is dead,
do they reassign it some one else if they do, is there a pattern,
or is this just a random phenomenon ? Can you relate the
ancestors to the descendants in this dimension.

Makes me think of "Matrix", as just more than
Science-Fiction.... A day may come when we are
reduced to just numbers... Who says the evolution
is at its end..??

Chains of thoughts and questions.. sprung after reading
Nothing's post on
the end of digital age

...Being "Busy"...

what have i lost in due time, being busy to make my self "happy" ?

what have i seem to have forgotten, being busy recollecting the glimpses of life so "unworthy" ?

what have i become, being busy to be someone that's not me ?

what have i learnt, being busy learning ?

what have i left behind, being busy looking forward ?

what have i seen, being busy to be seen ?

what have i never thought of, being busy in my thoughts ?

what have i not answered, being Fuckin...busy playing the "Moderator" ?

Q n A..!

Freewill... Me .. I .. Self.. the list of absurdities.. is endless.
good.. bad.. virtuous.. truthful.. goes on the list of ambiguities..
incorporated inherently in to our memory by the whole
of which we are a infinitesimal part.
"Why" ? this question is my only light in this darkness.

The "rational", so called "prophets" are the true
cynics, who hate the mankind when they become oblivious
to their fellow men, winding the "rational" cob-webs in which they
seek eternity.Never did they realize, that they were cannibals feeding on the
ego of their fellow men.

When was the first time.. you felt the "guilty conscience"?
It was the day you cut yourself from the "Whole", and
obtained the idea of the false "self", that you think you are.

What was the first so called "Sin" that you committed ?
It was guilt that you imposed on yourself.

Who am i asking.. ?
Who am i to answer.. ?

Rand's Blasphemy...

Ayn Rand in her foreword to "The Fountain Head"
says,
"In all fundamentals ... Objectivism not only differs from Nietzsche but is his opposite. Therefore, I don't want to be confused with Nietzsche in any respect."
When i read this it was evident to me that Rand was
inflenced by Nietzsche, but for some reason didn't want
to acknowledge it.
Today when i was reading "The twilight of the Idols", by Friedrich Nietzsche
this influence of her which she wasn't ready to acknowledge publicly became
more than obvious to me.
For Instance,
Nietzsche, when speaking about the meaning of the two Antithetical concepts
describes the Apollinian and Dionysian states of mind.
He classifies the great painters , sculptors and epic poets as Apollinian visionaries
who's intoxication provokes them to see the reflection of their perfection
in the art they create ( Ah....!such great insights ..! ).
Where as, "in the Dionysian state the entire emotional system is intensified,
so that it discharges all its powers of representation, imitation ,
transfiguration, transmutaion, every kind of mimicry and play conjointly."
So the actor, the mime, the dancer and the musicians are Dionsyian by nature.
While, presenting this dichotomy he acknowledges the "Architect"
In his words,
"The architect represents niether the Dionysian nor the Apollian condition:
here it is the mighty act of will which moves mountains, the intoxication of the
strong will, which demands artisctic expression. The most powerful men
have always inspired the architects; the architect has always been influenced
by power.Pirde, victory over weight and gravity, the will to power,
seek to render themselves visible in a building......"

Now, for those of you who have read "The Fountain Head", i need'nt say anything
more about the obvious plagiarism of Rand. I call it plagiarism, wiht due respect
to her mastery in writing, because she failed to acknowledge her true inspiration.
For, what did she write about ? Architecture
what were her main characters ? Architects
and What was roark ? If not a Nietzschian
idea of a ture artist.

But, there it stands the master piece of all times with
out any reference to its master.

Genius ? Is it a Myth

Buddha, OSHO, Swami Vivekananda, Nietzsche, Aristotle.. these
are just a few of the many, so called enlightened.
Ever wondered what's so singularly common and glaringly evident about
these names ? Yes, thier spiritual revelations or rather thier
communicated spiritual revelations, these might be just a few
of the elite, who have been able to communicate their thoughts
to millions.

Now, if you go a step furthur, in not just reading what they said,
which undeniably are great insights, but also try to analyse their
state of conscious mind, you might find their logical abilities
profound and they all have a subliminal clarity of thoughts.
well, before i state what i feel the reasons for these common traits
i would like to acknowledge my limited powers of rationalization
which are very much subject to arrive at a false logical chain of
reasoning.

My ability to rationalize, is again subject to what i have been
taught with language as a medium and what ever i may think i
know might as well be absurd but i would never know it either,
why i am i being so self critical ?
well, i hope its going to become apparent after what i have to say.

Let's start by analysing the common tool of communication they all
had, a "human brain", it's been scientifically proven that
a human brain handles 7-9 chunks of processes at any instance.
In general, the frontal lobes are concerned with the future,
the temporal lobes are concerned with the past, and the
underlying intermediate portions are concerned with the
present.
Amygdala, is the portion of the brain that is
concerened with the present, and it's quite fascinating to know
that this plays a key role in generating what we call the idea of "self".
Infact, this notion of "self" that we posses, that which we identify
ourselves with has to be imprinted 40 times per sec and is subject to
change due to emotional variations.

Well this detail might sound superfluous or rather digressing from where
we started, but it is necessary to emphsize the complexity of the
organ that we are dealing with the "Human Brain"
Now, if we would want to achieve a super-conscious state of mind,
that which is the source of all creativity and the so called "genius",
all we have to do is start using it. This statement may sound a little too
deliberate, but if you pay attention and take a moment out to
observe your thoughts, it would soon become apparent that
all we ever do is multiplex between hundreds of irrelevant thoughts.

How to realize this ?
Follow this simple procedure, isolate yourself from any chances external
disturbances, close your eyes and just observe your thoughts, now this may
sound a little paradoxial, cause observing your thoughts is also another thought.
Just ask yourself what you are thinking for an instance and you will
see these toughts, disappearing for a just a infinitesimally small instance, and
these instances wont last more than orders of milliseconds, try to get a thougtless mind,
and you will soon realise its practically impossible.

Why am i asking you to do all this Crap ?
Well, in there lies the secret of all these great minds,
if you can utilise all the 7-9 chunks of processing power to
perform a single task, imagine the level of efficiency and the
profoundity you can achieve ?
Though we speak of a "One track Mind", it's soon evident that
it's practically impossible,
That's where these spirtual ancestors have gone beyond their
limitaions, what they all have remarkably achieved is the
ability to live in the "present"
"being here and Now" as they call it, relives your brain from
the task of creating this idea of self, by assimilating all your
past impressions and future apprehensions.
You are free to give your full attention to even the menial task that
you are percieving, many of the Zen teachings also emphasize
this fact. When they say, that you can achieve realization even by
performing your daily menial tasks with full attention this is what
they must be referring to. These feelings of complete presence
occur by serendipity, sometimes as Deja-Vus sometimes as
orgasmic pleasures, where you suddenly come in to the "present"
and experience the euphoric nature of that instance.

Now, having said all that, i still want to make it clear that i believe
these states of mind can only be achieved with an increased
awareness of self and by realising the worthlesness of

remorse over the past or

apprehensions about the future.

I guess, these are my first steps towards the unknown.

House of Mirrors

She never understood why these Men were so nice to her,
They found her sense of humour hilarious and her
point of view intriguing.
She never questioned their uxorious compliments,
cause they always made her feel special and blissful.
When she saw the same Men treat her friends like
insects, she felt that there is something wrong with
her company, but she never really had the need to
probe in.



Now, many a year have past, Men,she never
understood why there were so many of them
and why none of them were around Now.
Now, she pauses eagerly after her jokes,
her ears wide awake to hear those loud
laughters and cheesy compliments, but all
that come back are empty glances and
sarcastic smirks.
The Once huge friendlist seemed to be
dissolving everyday and those numbers that
kept ringing 24/7 on her cell-phone she could
hardly remember Now.
Now when her Mobile beeps, her anxious
hands browse through the messages, just to
find out it's yet another of those Automated
Voice-mails, some people refer to as SPAM.

Her friday nights, that used to be filled
with lively chatter, pleasing music and champagne
are cold and lonesome, all she can hear is the
TV in the background with ugly people in the
commercials telling her how to look young
and beautiful again.

"Now", she sits in the dark corner thinking for the
very first time, what good is the youth and beauty
to her ? For, what good were the Men
who came and left as the uninvited guests.
Why would the mirror lie to her, for she
was never as spectator.
Mirrors, yes...! Mirrors were all around
that lied with every reflection.
For, she never let the light pass through her,
all she saw were the carnal reflections
of her self.
In this vanity fair,
she was strangled in the "House of Mirrors" all along.