Gustave Flaubert

I can't be more raevnous to disclose the splendor of this Master Piece " Madam Bovary".
While reading the book, i was transported by the ingenious narrations of Flaubert
to places i haven't even dreamt of, peeked in to the deepest emotions of
those people i have never seen. Nevertheless, if felt as though every narrative, every character
was moving in front of my eyes, exposing the human emotions which i can very much relate to.
There is no single sentence, that i can label as redundant.
If "Fountain Head", touched me then i can say "Madam Bovary" took me on a bungy-jump.
Man... Best trip Ever...!

Makes, me wonder what kind of man Flaubert was ?
How profound and yet so rustic in thoughts, man of great insight in to human emotions.
If only he was born in these days and had a penchant for psychology what a Boon he would be
to the world of Human Psychology, as he can analyse every percievable emtion and the actions that lead to it.
And, i wouldnt dare listing his metaphors, which in themselves were so complete that i must admit i never felt as though he was being poetic. Never, seen a novel structured so splendid and yet terse.

Great writers like him, are to be crowned for proving the world the power of a human brain and giving this world such a sense of possibilty.

I raise my glass of with respect, A TOAST TO FLAUBERT...!

Dreams ..! Can They be True ??

What's More Enigmatic Than a Creature that Spends 1/5th of it's life in an alien state
and is not perplexed by the phenomenon ???
Yes, i am talking about Dreams , we all have them don't we ??
But Have you ever wondered, what your first ever dream was about ? and Were you not Qrious
to know why do we have them ??
You might have taken them for granted over the years and forgot to ask the Question
Why Do We Dream ??

Here is what i gathered From some Causal Browsing.. Makes me want to Dwell Deeper .

Our dreams combine verbal, visual and emotional stimuli into a sometimes broken, nonsensical but often entertaining story line. We can sometimes even solve problems in our sleep. Or can we? Many experts disagree on exactly what the purpose of our dreams might be. Are they strictly random brain impulses, or are our brains actually working through issues from our daily life while we sleep -- as a sort of coping mechanism? Should we even bother to interpret our dreams? Many say yes, that we have a great deal to learn from our dreams.

Dream Philosophy According to Nietzsche ( M did u hear that :) ?? )
"In the ages of the rude beginning of culture, man believed that he was discovering a second real world in dream, and here is the origin of all metaphysics. Without dreams, mankind would never have had occasion to invent such a division of the world. The parting of soul and body goes also with this way of interpreting dreams; likewise, the idea of a soul's apparitional body: whence all belief in ghosts, and apparently, too, in gods."
Why do we Dream?

For centuries, we've tried to figure out just why our brains play these nightly shows for us. Early civilizations thought dream worlds were real, physical worlds that they could enter only from their dream state. Researchers continue to toss around many theories about dreaming. Those theories essentially fall into two categories:

• The idea that dreams are only physiological stimulations
• The idea that dreams are psychologically necessary

The Theoretical Divide

Physiological theories are based on the idea that we dream in order to exercise various neural connections that some researchers believe affect certain types of learning. Psychological theories are based on the idea that dreaming allows us to sort through problems, events of the day or things that are requiring a lot of our attention. Some of these theorists think dreams might be prophetic. Many researchers and scientists also believe that perhaps it is a combination of the two theories. In the next section, we'll look at some of the major dream theorists and what they say about why we dream.

Dream Theories

Dreaming in Public During the Roman Era, some dreams were submitted to the Senate for analysis and interpretation.

First and foremost in dream theory is Sigmund Freud. Falling into the psychological camp, Dr. Freud's theories are based on the idea of repressed longing -- the desires that we aren't able to express in a social setting. Dreams allow the unconscious mind to act out those unacceptable thoughts and desires. For this reason, his theory about dreams focuses primarily on sexual desires and symbolism. For example, any cylindrical object in a dream represents the penis, while a cave or an enclosed object with an opening represents the vagina. Therefore, to dream of a train entering a tunnel would represent sexual intercourse. According to Freud, this dream indicates a suppressed longing for sex. Freud lived during the sexually repressed Victorian era, which in some way explains his focus. Still, he did once comment that, "Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar."

Taken from http://howstuffworks.com

100-things about myself

1. "Soccer" is my religion.
2. I believe in believing
3. I spent my child-hood in a beautiful valley and i'm back after 12 long yrs in another beautiful valley.
4. I dont believe in soul-mates, cause life ( an hence my soul ) is always changing.
5. I always wanted to be a stand-up comedian, cause laughter is the best gift you can give to someone.
6. My Big-picture of life ironically is to "write, direct and produce" a movie ( A BIG PICTURE ) that will stand the test of time and will touch the lives of millions who watch it.
7. I am a Jack of all trades, master of a few :)
8. I consider myself lucky.
9. As a kid i used to envy my brother for growing up so taller than me, now i am the tallest one in the family ( though by half and inch :))
10. I have a wondeful supporting family, but as every coin has its flip side, i haven't been staying @ home since the last 6 yrs.
11. I was a pessimist until i met an optimist who changed the way i looked at things.
12. I was cynical and hated humanity, but it changed with time.
13. I like to play pranks on ppl, but feel bad when it hurts them too bad.
14. I like to pen down my ramblings and feel good when it makes sense to someone other than me.
15. I always had a craving to find my niche, where ppl recongnize me for what i am
16. I like kids and their innocense.
17. I can get really addicted to things.
18. I was a real stubborn-kid.
19. I had once developed a false ego and then killed it.
20.I can be a real introvert if i let myself loose.
21. I have this uncanny ability to recognize ppl of my-types.
22. I would live and die for "Arsenal" an english soccer team that i worship.
23. "thierry henry " is my "Soccer- Player of the Century".
24. I want to die-in the arms of a person whom i love.
25. Life has taught, " it's always better to learn than to be taught".
26. I can eat sleep and breath "MOVIES".
27. I cant spend a day with out playing /working-out.
28. I like killing time when its more important than ever.
29. I am a liar.
30.I can be honest to the very few, i can trust.
31. I wish - "State College" was as fanatic for soccer as it is for foot-ball.
32. I can get really protective if i start loving someone.
33. I am an extremist.
34. I want to go on a non-predestined road trip.
35. My energy comes in bursts, it's the interval that makes me really weak.
36. I sometimes feel that life is just a long dream and ppl wake up when they are dead.
37. I once had a talking "mina" bird as a pet, which was eaten by our cat since then i detested the idea of pets.
38. I cherish my care-free hazzle-less country-side child-hood.
39. I've always been a sportive high energy person.
40. Trust is all i seek from a companion. Nothing Else Matters
41. I hate the "Holier Than Though" attitude, i believe in Equality.
42. Politics never intersted me, Arts is what i am made for.
43. What would i do if i won a million dollars in a lotto ? Spend Every Buck on My "BIG PICTURE"
44. I once fell for someone so badly makes me wonder what "Self Respect is ?"
45. I earn for a weekend in the carribean with my partner.
46. Fantasy - Watching Metallica live in Concert Before a "Arsenal" champions league final
victory.
47. Authors who were most influencial in my life "Ayn-rand, OSHO, Timothy leary and RGV"
48. soap characters that blast my stomach " Joey Triviani ( Friends ), Eric Cartman ( South Park ) "
49.I recede in to a nocturnal TV surfing lazy bum once i go home for a vacation.
50.I want to travel around the world and write a story that reflects Life as it is.
51. I like watching Art Films, that are close to reality.
52. Given another life, i think i would end up making the exact same choices.
53. My worst fear - Death of my loved ones.
54. I wanted to be a doctor like my dad, when i was a kid.
55. I was video-game fanatic in school.
56. I was my school cricket-captain.
57. I was out on a "Duck", when my dad first saw me playing cricket.
58. I was a very sensitive child, couldnt take even sarcasm.
59. I always wanted a younger brother or a sister, hated being the youngest one in the family
60. I once looped a song for almost an entire day - Metallica "Unforgiven II"
61. Never touched booze/fag in college.
62. I hate when people tried to pamper me for favours
63. I like watching movies back to back
64. I was/still am a DREAMER.
65. The thing i cherished the most - my first bike
66. My role model as a kid - My big bro
67. I was always camera shy.
68. I was often mistaken for a junior in my final year at college.
69. I never set my foot on dance-stage before IITM, but ironically i went on to become a choreography coordinator
70. I used to love sketching as a kid, i remeber amazing ppl with my sketches of Buddha
71. I was a staunch worshipper, before i became agnostic.
72. My freinds are my biggest assets.
73. I can be real naive, before i master things.
74. I believe, you loose only when you stop fighting.
75. I've always been a romantic.
76. I had fear of drunken people ( donno what phobia its called :)) as a kid.
77. I was considered a meek kid, until my parents saw what i had become in college.
78. I used to love, the mythical stories of my grandma.
79. I still feel sometimes i have to grow up and stop being nuts.
80.I tend to magnify my greif and tend to be a masochist.
81. My mind is always looking for sarcasm.
82. I like seculsion when i am tired.
83. I tend to become friends with less materialistic and more artistic people.
84. Never liked wearing watches.
85. I am allergic to lactic acid - NO MILK PRODUCTS
86. I like the cold climate.
87. I best friend calls me an "ass-hole"
88. dreams and deja-vu always perplexed me
89. If i had just one day to live, i would want to make a movie about it and die watching it.
90. I am always seeking, have to learn to give more.
91. I hate when people speak about etiqutte.
92. I always wanted to be on top of Things
93. I suck @ most of the games, that my best friend likes.
94. Life's been a real roller coster ride, since past two years
95. I like travelling with my bro in our car.
96. I was always a supporter of the Under-Dog
97. I was a chubby kid for two years.
98. I want to open more and stop isolating myself from reality
99. I wanna look Life in the Face and " Love it "
100. I never thought i will finish this list :)

Cheers to M, who could get such an impetus out of a lazy goose like me

If you want to know about her looks at
M's 200 things

why the F$@$ should i write ??

The thoughts smothering your conscience are like ripples on a serene lake. Just as your reflection takes a surreal form, when you try to look through it, the thoughts in your brain generate illusionary visual perceptions. To see the real image you need to stop these ripples, calm your mind and try to focus on the thought.

Try to extract the chain of events that led to such a disturbing thought. This is a critical process, because the thought itself is so overwhelming that it casts its shadow on every other attempt to analyse it.It can create a mirage in your brain, personifying itself as reality.

There are various techniques that help you focus on the thought, The one that i am trying to develop is " fixation through active-recall". The basis for such a technique are the following obeservations

When i start to write about the thought, i tend to analayse it more clearly ..!

Q:why ?
A: Because my brain which can be abstracted as a complex neural network, has been trained in such a way, by every exam i wrote, every report that i scribbled, by every letter i composed.
Hence, it seems logoical to me at this point to soothe the ripples and see the clear picture
by fixating on the thought, when ever i recall it through writing.

I call it ' recall ', cause when i am writing by brain is involuntarily activating for the sequence of
actions that perform writing.
From the knowledge i have about the nervous system i can breifly/ very abstractly classify them as

-- Actions like movement of arm, gripping the pencil, fixing the eye focus on the paper.
-- Nervous system is constantly being accessed bu the brain
--Commands to the mortar and optic nerves are being issued
-- just like a processor context-switches between these active processes when i am writing i am switching between
a) what i am about to write {{ The thought}}
b) How to write {{ Involving the actions listed above }}

This gives me a chance to focus on my thought more intensly, cause my brain is aware that the time-slice given to it to process the thought is limited. As, it can be observed when the time is lmited to do any action ( Eg: reflex actions ) the impeccable sub-conscious comes to play.
Hence, the limited time-slice forces the subconscious to come to action. And, this is the essence of the whole "why the Fuck should i write", analysis.

Hope this made a little sense to those who read it, an my suggestion is stop reading and start writing. Its no different from meditaion.

Requiem for a Dellusion

****************************************************

Long gone are the days, when i used to muse about what
to do with all the free time i have.
life's on the busy lane. Feels like i am back in
high-school, only difference is the chillin weather
and the hot babes with skinny outfits. "reasearch" is
the term i hated for most of my life, and what's more
satiric than me doing a ph.d.
But as  always things are not the way u think they
would be, in my case it so happens that i came
prepared for the worst.
For a guy, who's only pre-conceptions of research were
the insights given by Dilbert's comics. Mimicing the
life of a ph.d student as a mer e slimy, book reading,
seat warming and monotonic "bum", this small exposure
to research came as a big surprise.

Let me get to the point as i know i am starting to
make little sense, contrary to all the pre-conceptions
( which i am sure most of us share ), i realised its
not what i expected it would be. I aint procliaming
that life of a ph.d student is "FUN". But, just
presenting you an anomaly, its ME.

I will get to the CRUX, as most of you might me
falling under the impression that i am "ON" something.
I took an appointment with my advisor to start
discussing my future work, to my surprise he turned
out to be a "cool" guy, who enquired about my
interests ( academic ) which made me think really
hard, as i never had a field of interest or a penchant
for knowlegde before. I blabbered something, which to
my surprise made sense to me.He ended the meeting on a
good note, saying he would get back to me.

Guess, what the Dog got still lucky. SUSU calls me and
tells me that i am officially an "Understudy" to him,
long live my advisor.
Which basically means that, i can discuss research
problems with him, during the half-time of a soccer
game or a set break in a badi match. The first words
he spoke to me were "footer khelna hai kya ??".

WHAT MORE CAN I ASK FOR :))

Mr.Brownstone

I get up around seven
Get outta bed around nine
And I don't worry about nothin' no
'Cause worrin's a waste of my... time

The show usually starts around seven
We go on stage around nine
Get on the bus about eleven
Sippin' a drink and feelin' fine

Chorus:
We been dancin' with Mr. Brownstone
He's been knockin'
He won't leave me alone
No, no ,no, he won't leave me alone
I used ta do a little but a little wouldn't do
So the little got more and more
I just keep tryin' ta get a little better
Said the little better than before
I used ta do a little but a little wouldn't do
So the little got more and more
I just keep tryin' ta get a little better
Said the little better than before

Chorus

Now I get up around whenever
I used ta get up on time
But that old man he's a real muthafucker
Gonna kick him on down the line

I used ta do a little but a little wouldn't do
So the little got more and more
I just keep tryin' ta get a little better
Said the little better than before
I used ta do a little but a little wouldn't do
So the little got more and more
I just keep tryin' ta get a little better
Said the little better than before

Chorus
Shoved it in the bindle and I shot it in the middle
And it, it drove outta my mind
I should've known better, said I wish I never met her Said I,
I leave it all behind Yowsa!