...Being "Busy"...

what have i lost in due time, being busy to make my self "happy" ?

what have i seem to have forgotten, being busy recollecting the glimpses of life so "unworthy" ?

what have i become, being busy to be someone that's not me ?

what have i learnt, being busy learning ?

what have i left behind, being busy looking forward ?

what have i seen, being busy to be seen ?

what have i never thought of, being busy in my thoughts ?

what have i not answered, being Fuckin...busy playing the "Moderator" ?

Q n A..!

Freewill... Me .. I .. Self.. the list of absurdities.. is endless.
good.. bad.. virtuous.. truthful.. goes on the list of ambiguities..
incorporated inherently in to our memory by the whole
of which we are a infinitesimal part.
"Why" ? this question is my only light in this darkness.

The "rational", so called "prophets" are the true
cynics, who hate the mankind when they become oblivious
to their fellow men, winding the "rational" cob-webs in which they
seek eternity.Never did they realize, that they were cannibals feeding on the
ego of their fellow men.

When was the first time.. you felt the "guilty conscience"?
It was the day you cut yourself from the "Whole", and
obtained the idea of the false "self", that you think you are.

What was the first so called "Sin" that you committed ?
It was guilt that you imposed on yourself.

Who am i asking.. ?
Who am i to answer.. ?

Rand's Blasphemy...

Ayn Rand in her foreword to "The Fountain Head"
says,
"In all fundamentals ... Objectivism not only differs from Nietzsche but is his opposite. Therefore, I don't want to be confused with Nietzsche in any respect."
When i read this it was evident to me that Rand was
inflenced by Nietzsche, but for some reason didn't want
to acknowledge it.
Today when i was reading "The twilight of the Idols", by Friedrich Nietzsche
this influence of her which she wasn't ready to acknowledge publicly became
more than obvious to me.
For Instance,
Nietzsche, when speaking about the meaning of the two Antithetical concepts
describes the Apollinian and Dionysian states of mind.
He classifies the great painters , sculptors and epic poets as Apollinian visionaries
who's intoxication provokes them to see the reflection of their perfection
in the art they create ( Ah....!such great insights ..! ).
Where as, "in the Dionysian state the entire emotional system is intensified,
so that it discharges all its powers of representation, imitation ,
transfiguration, transmutaion, every kind of mimicry and play conjointly."
So the actor, the mime, the dancer and the musicians are Dionsyian by nature.
While, presenting this dichotomy he acknowledges the "Architect"
In his words,
"The architect represents niether the Dionysian nor the Apollian condition:
here it is the mighty act of will which moves mountains, the intoxication of the
strong will, which demands artisctic expression. The most powerful men
have always inspired the architects; the architect has always been influenced
by power.Pirde, victory over weight and gravity, the will to power,
seek to render themselves visible in a building......"

Now, for those of you who have read "The Fountain Head", i need'nt say anything
more about the obvious plagiarism of Rand. I call it plagiarism, wiht due respect
to her mastery in writing, because she failed to acknowledge her true inspiration.
For, what did she write about ? Architecture
what were her main characters ? Architects
and What was roark ? If not a Nietzschian
idea of a ture artist.

But, there it stands the master piece of all times with
out any reference to its master.

Genius ? Is it a Myth

Buddha, OSHO, Swami Vivekananda, Nietzsche, Aristotle.. these
are just a few of the many, so called enlightened.
Ever wondered what's so singularly common and glaringly evident about
these names ? Yes, thier spiritual revelations or rather thier
communicated spiritual revelations, these might be just a few
of the elite, who have been able to communicate their thoughts
to millions.

Now, if you go a step furthur, in not just reading what they said,
which undeniably are great insights, but also try to analyse their
state of conscious mind, you might find their logical abilities
profound and they all have a subliminal clarity of thoughts.
well, before i state what i feel the reasons for these common traits
i would like to acknowledge my limited powers of rationalization
which are very much subject to arrive at a false logical chain of
reasoning.

My ability to rationalize, is again subject to what i have been
taught with language as a medium and what ever i may think i
know might as well be absurd but i would never know it either,
why i am i being so self critical ?
well, i hope its going to become apparent after what i have to say.

Let's start by analysing the common tool of communication they all
had, a "human brain", it's been scientifically proven that
a human brain handles 7-9 chunks of processes at any instance.
In general, the frontal lobes are concerned with the future,
the temporal lobes are concerned with the past, and the
underlying intermediate portions are concerned with the
present.
Amygdala, is the portion of the brain that is
concerened with the present, and it's quite fascinating to know
that this plays a key role in generating what we call the idea of "self".
Infact, this notion of "self" that we posses, that which we identify
ourselves with has to be imprinted 40 times per sec and is subject to
change due to emotional variations.

Well this detail might sound superfluous or rather digressing from where
we started, but it is necessary to emphsize the complexity of the
organ that we are dealing with the "Human Brain"
Now, if we would want to achieve a super-conscious state of mind,
that which is the source of all creativity and the so called "genius",
all we have to do is start using it. This statement may sound a little too
deliberate, but if you pay attention and take a moment out to
observe your thoughts, it would soon become apparent that
all we ever do is multiplex between hundreds of irrelevant thoughts.

How to realize this ?
Follow this simple procedure, isolate yourself from any chances external
disturbances, close your eyes and just observe your thoughts, now this may
sound a little paradoxial, cause observing your thoughts is also another thought.
Just ask yourself what you are thinking for an instance and you will
see these toughts, disappearing for a just a infinitesimally small instance, and
these instances wont last more than orders of milliseconds, try to get a thougtless mind,
and you will soon realise its practically impossible.

Why am i asking you to do all this Crap ?
Well, in there lies the secret of all these great minds,
if you can utilise all the 7-9 chunks of processing power to
perform a single task, imagine the level of efficiency and the
profoundity you can achieve ?
Though we speak of a "One track Mind", it's soon evident that
it's practically impossible,
That's where these spirtual ancestors have gone beyond their
limitaions, what they all have remarkably achieved is the
ability to live in the "present"
"being here and Now" as they call it, relives your brain from
the task of creating this idea of self, by assimilating all your
past impressions and future apprehensions.
You are free to give your full attention to even the menial task that
you are percieving, many of the Zen teachings also emphasize
this fact. When they say, that you can achieve realization even by
performing your daily menial tasks with full attention this is what
they must be referring to. These feelings of complete presence
occur by serendipity, sometimes as Deja-Vus sometimes as
orgasmic pleasures, where you suddenly come in to the "present"
and experience the euphoric nature of that instance.

Now, having said all that, i still want to make it clear that i believe
these states of mind can only be achieved with an increased
awareness of self and by realising the worthlesness of

remorse over the past or

apprehensions about the future.

I guess, these are my first steps towards the unknown.

House of Mirrors

She never understood why these Men were so nice to her,
They found her sense of humour hilarious and her
point of view intriguing.
She never questioned their uxorious compliments,
cause they always made her feel special and blissful.
When she saw the same Men treat her friends like
insects, she felt that there is something wrong with
her company, but she never really had the need to
probe in.



Now, many a year have past, Men,she never
understood why there were so many of them
and why none of them were around Now.
Now, she pauses eagerly after her jokes,
her ears wide awake to hear those loud
laughters and cheesy compliments, but all
that come back are empty glances and
sarcastic smirks.
The Once huge friendlist seemed to be
dissolving everyday and those numbers that
kept ringing 24/7 on her cell-phone she could
hardly remember Now.
Now when her Mobile beeps, her anxious
hands browse through the messages, just to
find out it's yet another of those Automated
Voice-mails, some people refer to as SPAM.

Her friday nights, that used to be filled
with lively chatter, pleasing music and champagne
are cold and lonesome, all she can hear is the
TV in the background with ugly people in the
commercials telling her how to look young
and beautiful again.

"Now", she sits in the dark corner thinking for the
very first time, what good is the youth and beauty
to her ? For, what good were the Men
who came and left as the uninvited guests.
Why would the mirror lie to her, for she
was never as spectator.
Mirrors, yes...! Mirrors were all around
that lied with every reflection.
For, she never let the light pass through her,
all she saw were the carnal reflections
of her self.
In this vanity fair,
she was strangled in the "House of Mirrors" all along.