why the F$@$ should i write ??

The thoughts smothering your conscience are like ripples on a serene lake. Just as your reflection takes a surreal form, when you try to look through it, the thoughts in your brain generate illusionary visual perceptions. To see the real image you need to stop these ripples, calm your mind and try to focus on the thought.

Try to extract the chain of events that led to such a disturbing thought. This is a critical process, because the thought itself is so overwhelming that it casts its shadow on every other attempt to analyse it.It can create a mirage in your brain, personifying itself as reality.

There are various techniques that help you focus on the thought, The one that i am trying to develop is " fixation through active-recall". The basis for such a technique are the following obeservations

When i start to write about the thought, i tend to analayse it more clearly ..!

Q:why ?
A: Because my brain which can be abstracted as a complex neural network, has been trained in such a way, by every exam i wrote, every report that i scribbled, by every letter i composed.
Hence, it seems logoical to me at this point to soothe the ripples and see the clear picture
by fixating on the thought, when ever i recall it through writing.

I call it ' recall ', cause when i am writing by brain is involuntarily activating for the sequence of
actions that perform writing.
From the knowledge i have about the nervous system i can breifly/ very abstractly classify them as

-- Actions like movement of arm, gripping the pencil, fixing the eye focus on the paper.
-- Nervous system is constantly being accessed bu the brain
--Commands to the mortar and optic nerves are being issued
-- just like a processor context-switches between these active processes when i am writing i am switching between
a) what i am about to write {{ The thought}}
b) How to write {{ Involving the actions listed above }}

This gives me a chance to focus on my thought more intensly, cause my brain is aware that the time-slice given to it to process the thought is limited. As, it can be observed when the time is lmited to do any action ( Eg: reflex actions ) the impeccable sub-conscious comes to play.
Hence, the limited time-slice forces the subconscious to come to action. And, this is the essence of the whole "why the Fuck should i write", analysis.

Hope this made a little sense to those who read it, an my suggestion is stop reading and start writing. Its no different from meditaion.