I am..!

Today, i really felt what is to be dead, i have seen my soul leaving my body.
I wanted to cry out loud, but i wasn't able to, there is so much pain that i
not able to feel. I know its in me, but i am not able to feel it.

when the pain you are trying to conquer mocks at you, saying that you have to live with it for the rest of your life.
when it talks to you as though it has become a part of you.
when you are disillusioned, but its too hard to accept the reality.
when you start questioning yourself, why am i still sane ?
How am i still breathing ??

You can feel something dying inside you, you can smell the odor of death, death of those subliminal thoughts that make you have that recurrent dream. when you start
realizing what "pain" actually is.

How can you still be alive...???
Am i evil ?? Yes i am, Cause i am living dead.
i am the cause of my misery, i am the pain that consumes me
i am the death that awaits me to go six feet under.
I am the life that has just pierced through me.
I am the thought that cheats me saying it's Gonna be ok...!
It's never gonna be Fucking ok...!
I am the reason, that betrayed me.

I am a fucking pussy, who cant take a break up, who cant move on with life
Who can't stand on his feet, who needs a woman's bosom to comfort him.

I am the truth that i am running away from

I am the person who i hate the most.

I am the alibi for a life lost in self reproach

I am the finger pulling trigger, in point blank.

I am the ashes, floating in the water and blowing in the wind

I am the tremor that shakes my whole body, with each whim of pain.

I am the coward, who's gonna live the rest of the life living someone else's dream and thinking that he's doing the right thing.

I am the idiot who never thought twice.

I am the villain in my story.